- Woman: *on cellphone* Why am I leaving you? Why am I--I'll tell you why.
- Woman: Here's why. You don't respect me.
- Woman: You called me a whore in front of my children.
- Me: *says nothing, but has a face like O.O*
- Woman: You don't respect me. And you know, there some white chick here in the store, she walking, she heard me say that and she make a face.
- Woman: Because even she know you a piece of shit.
Do u ever wanna punch urself in the face for procrastinating and ruining ur life
yeah but I never get around to it
idk if this is funny or sad
What if it bites me and it dies?
that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.
What if it bites itself and I die?
What if it bites me and someone else dies?
That’s correlation, not causation.
what if we bite each other and neither of us die
oh my god
this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever
I rarely reblog stuff like this, but this is so damn clever and hilarious.
(Source) for the fact in the picture